Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Expression, Repression, Vomitting

It's been six years since I last thought of putting up a blog. I never really pursued it. So, I stop counting the many attempts I had. I'm finally putting up one again and hopefully I have the guts to keep it going. Looking back (which is something you should not do unless you're totally prepared for what you're going to see again), I think about the reasons why I fail on keeping a blog. 

Time, of course, is always a reason. I always find time too short to blog. Distraction is another. I simply do not have the discipline of concentrating on a task, that is why I have many unfinished business. But I think the most interesting of all is my lack of content. I mean, I often find it mundane to talk about myself and how my day has been. Who would be interested in that?

Since attending an online writing class once upon a time in UP CAL (under the tutelage of Prof. Paolo Manalo), I view blog writing apart from navel-gazing. My teacher from that class suggested that interesting blogs have focused content. Although it's free publication, readership is not guaranteed to every blog content. Readers are smart and they do not have the luxury of time to spend an hour and a half to read a person's daily crisis. So I couldn't keep a blog because I really did not have anything important to say. That is, I did not have a focused content that I was motivated to work on on a long stretch of time.

What has this skewed view of personal blogging cost me? One word: repression. I realized that writing at times is not about the readers. Writing can be therapeutic. It is after all a form of expression. Not expressing your thoughts in paper or blog is like rotting an egg in the fridge. You have to crack the idea open, fry it, and taste it. You do not wait for it to rot before you cook it. Rotten eggs make one puke. Vomit. 

Though I consider this blog a frying pan of my thoughts for my own consumption, I would have to write an excuse note to those who might read this. The entries in this blog are purely free associative. If a theme or content holds the entries together it is this: word vomit. As formless and incoherent as vomit is, so are the collection of entries in this hodge-podge of a blog. Hopefully, an exercise on word vomit would stop me from puking.

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